pierced

We are entering Elul, the Hebrew month leading into Rosh HaShanah, our New Year. This month begins the season of t’shuvah. The word t’shuvah is often translated as repentance, but comes linguistically from the Hebrew root of turning or returning. In Los Angeles, I worked as a counselor at Beit T’shuvah, a Jewish treatment facility for alcohol, drugs and other addictions that translated its name as “House of Return.” In fact, that is what happened for successful clients there: they returned to the life they knew before using, and returned to the path to which God had been calling them all along. Elul is an auspicious time to turn and return, to recover and restore, and to remake ourselves in God’s image. It can be an intense time of soul-searching, reflection, prayer and meditation on our missteps of the past year, and the ways we want to improve in the coming year, 5771.

For it is ever possible to be more honest with our colleagues, open to our friends, or loving for our spouses and partners. We are each achingly aware of our short-comings. The Talmud says that the wicked are full of remorse, but truth be told, so are we all. We may not have been wicked, but perhaps we have been wickedly hard-headed or even hard-hearted. Surely, who among us has not hidden behind shields of arrogance, fear or anger? And, since we are sensitive creatures, we feel remorse and regret, even shame or guilt. Which is a good thing, when it motivates our repentance and moves us to return to the path we are supposed to travel.

The Tanya, a masterwork by Rebbe Shneur Zalman of Liadi, says that even the “wicked, too, are forgiven.” Those pinpricks of doubt and the fullness of regret are usually enough to motivate change for the better. Some find t’shuvah and forgiveness by making amends or mending their ways. Others just need to be open to change the smallest bit. “There is hope,” the Rebbe reminds us, “for goodness surrounds them, waiting for even the slightest crack by which it might enter.” Maybe this year we will feel remorse, and turn to change our ways. If not, do not despair – maybe this is simply the year that we will be penetrated by the goodness waiting all around us. We may be hardened, but we are not too hard for God to reach.